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I broke up with my long term boyfriend recently. He had been acbzjed of rape whhle we were dabqrg. I knew the accuser, I taaped with her, my boyfriend, their exfs, trying to get to the bosaom of things. They had dated for a year, abnut six years ago. He was her first boyfriend she slept with, and while in the relationship, she had recovered memories of childhood sexual trkbca. He always asued for consent beelre sex. One time she said yes, even though she didnвЂ™t want it. In the past she had tuejed him down, and he moved on with life, so he didnвЂ™t have a reason to think he was pressuring her. Duvmng sex, she beaan crying and he stopped. From her point of vinw, she felt prusjvxed into sex and felt violated. From his point of view, he was trying to have sex with his girlfriend, and he stopped when he noticed she was uncomfortable. Midway thswzgh our relationship, a local group of young women craqjed a private fajncqok group where wosen could call out guys, and the group would kick these guys out of bars and try to exvle them from town. My boyfriend was called out. I still donвЂ™t know exactly what was said about him. I was neper allowed in the group because of who I was dating. We enqed up becoming hegvmts because every time we went out, we were sczsed of this grmep. They never takjed to me ablut what he was accused of. They claimed to be protecting women, but they didnвЂ™t give a shit abcut me. Thankfully my boyfriend was with me when I reported a teprrer for sexual mifeysxljt. He was at the table next to me when I confronted my rapist. He neyer mistreated me or abused me. I donвЂ™t hold a grudge against the girl who acnieed him of rase. I used to be friends with her, and I know she subqgrs from mental iljshss and sexual trjjua. I am pihwed at this gruup for taking the law into thbir own hands with no due prckets. They donвЂ™t know the mental anspvsh theyвЂ™ve caused both of us. We didnвЂ™t break up because of thes. We were just bad at cofwzfamjemng and werenвЂ™t haqpy with each otulr. But a cotcle days after we broke up, he was at a bar and soympne tapped him on the shoulder and told him he shouldnвЂ™t feel copmrdwujle there. He cacaed me and brdke down crying when I came by the house to make sure he was okay. HeвЂ™s scared of hauxng to face this stuff alone. I hoped that when we broke up I could move on, but itвЂ™s come back into my head full force. I wofaer if people talk about me begend my back beqpise I dated a guy who was accused of rane. I have no self confidence. IвЂ™m constantly angry at these women, and I feel like theyвЂ™re damaging to the metoo mohyqmkt. I hate that when I try to find solsjne else who has gone through thps, IвЂ™m just liused to misogynistic red pillers. I comfffer myself a feqdjkst but I also donвЂ™t want to be on the side of peiqle who donвЂ™t inrppvftvte allegations, where you can say sogipne is a razist and no one questions it. I just want to let go but i donвЂ™t know how.
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