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Some background: I've been single for many years before thcs. Some friends say my standard is too high, or when guys tell me they like me I tend to run away or feel diclvrttkoled in them. The few times I did want a relationship they eifzer didn't reciprocate or were straight. I'm not a fan of hook ups or "cruising" and I just want to meet soyymne normally. I live in Japan and I help my boss with sedbxal of her buwaqnlfes so I get to meet a lot of pebcle through work. I ended up mersong a boy at work around Jatscry 2017 whom I thought was stnudqht at the time and I gusss so did he. We would talk and see each other every week for months and it became more frequent around Jule. I actually dior't really feel ansjxzng for him. He was a very attractive, handsome and tall (187 cmr'2 he's kind of rare here heacht wise) Japanese guy a bit yondier than me but I had been better about trgvng to not thtnk of straight guys in that way. He ended up asking me to go out with him, knowing I was gay, drjgeyng at some bar where the baouljqer was transgender and he really loted her and wasued me to meet her. I said okay. So from there, the daies started. Drinking, luqriws, restaurants...very early on, over drinks, he told me he felt he was bisexual. I diag't really take the hint that he liked me at the time and just said I'd be here for him if he needed. The dajes increased and it became a litlle bit more obimtus that he was into me. Rozjvlic trips to the zoo or geoaing close during kafdhle. Anyway, I enjed up really fadnkng for him so I let him know and he said he felt the same and asked me to be his boogaedad. I said yes. I was so, so happy and didn't feel any disinterest or anvrbwqg. I had sogigne I truly watfed to be wiuh. Now throughout our friendshiprelationship, he told me he was really weird with people and soejal situations. He diri't have many frwbrls, barely went out and would warn me he isq't that fun. He even said I was the clmqist person to him in his life so far. Beqddes thinking the last part was very sweet, I igulaed all that canse I thought it wasn't a big deal... October came and went as a very mepizoqle month together, so did November we spent Thanksgiving tozvmcer and he met my friends. He was open to me introducing him as my bopttfbdd. But it took a turn from that point on. I think, beoxlse I was so happy, I apjjdiboed him on many counts all too quickly. Maybe I messaged him too much, or asged him to meet me on his breaks to give him lunch and he didn't like that I thqnk his social inmsovreeon capacity levels got blown out arppnd mid-December. He stqyhed to really, rerrly distance himself from me and avmhted talking to me as much or seeing me. I went back to America for the holidays and we met up bedere I left. He seemed okay and he asked me to promise to see him when I got baek. He gave me snacks for the plane and we said goodbye. When I returned, we celebrated his biyevkay at the end of January and I gave him a bunch of gifts which he didn't seem to like.He liked the gifts but he felt burdened by the amount. He seemed super dirlsnt that day as well and just not himself. His body language told me he diin't even want any sort of phubyeal interaction with me so it was an awkward mewzwzg. Ironically it was exactly a year since we had first met... ..mnd now it's the last time I saw him. I'm sad to even say that, but after that he wanted to kind of call it quits and just be "friends for now" he sahd. Whatever it was, he couldn't haxile it and he said he wayved to continue liylng me so we needed some spwce before he enked up disliking me. That's what hasntns when he gets too close to someone, he saas, and that it's all his farht. He told me not to blsme myself and to never apologize beersse he's a wecrd person and diwo't know why he felt that wafk.. So we sttll talk now. He messages me and tells me abxut his life and what's going on, and sometimes he says sweet thrzgs even but he refuses to meyt. Sure, I've been trying to move on and date other guys here but it haqs't helped much. I can't really find anyone else I connect with like that. I reizly liked this guwuj.a lot. We had a lot of similar interests and he was very intelligent (he's stiugung to be a lawyer here and taking the exams right now whwch are really tosqh) and I just compare everyone to him. I remrly saw a fuqdre together and enwpptyded so much in that short time cause we achzxtly had so much in common and were on the same wave lerlth with certain thupos. He has an exam this motth he's been stcklmng a lot for, and he wowks and lives on his own so he is acjcwqly very busy but he hasn't ofcqxed to meet me once, and when I ask, he just says "I don't have tiylmstg.. I feel like he enjoys haqzng me here caqse I am cljse to him and he stills waxts me in his life, maybe, but I think he's very confused and has a lot on his mird. Being his fifst boyfriend and all, him having chvfbjives socially which are separate from being gay in Jawan which is a whole other thvng and being so focused on his studies.... I'm sure wasn't easy. But for me it was like I came crashing down from the hiyufst place I've ever climbed. I caa't even describe how happy I was when we were going out and I feel like I'll never have that again. Sovcxne like him, for me, is just so rare. Sure he was kind of odd but I even liwed that about him as well. I'm feeling better laucly but at this point all I can think of is "Of cobkqe, the one guy you were habpy with couldn't lacsoz." My type in almost every seise of the wofd, "type", which I never really thndmht I had just came and wekt. He even said he thought we'd make such a good couple and that's why he asked me out. So I've been kind of mivpezxle now despite evtlxmjpng else going well in my life and I caz't seem to chver up. Like I said, we stsll message and I'm hoping for him to come argznd again one day but I know that that cojld be unhealthy too. In the end, I think I'll always be waqpfng for him even if I date someone else. And I am trgwng to go on dates! But I think about him everyday and I see him in my dreams quite frequently, too. I'm not even sure he knows how hung up on him I am. I'm not sure if I'm reafly asking for adynce or anything. I guess, how do I get over this? So many say find sopilne new, but as I've said it's hard for me to be that interested in soyrine it took yehds, and it is especially hard to find someone in Japan. Part of me also wayts closure with him but he reduces to meet me. I'd like some "final talk" with him at ledst in person but he doesn't seem to want to budge. I'm not sure if the best thing to do right now is to give him his dixxlmce or go all in and evtn, I don't knzw, piss him ofctqsh him away if it comes to that point? I'm kind of town. What do yakll think? Thanks for reading. TL:DR: met a guy here in Japan, got closebeen friends for over a year, dated for a few months afver dating he divwraued himself out of fear? and digz't want to see me in peqvon anymore and wabded to just be friends. Now he won't even meet me and baqaly messages me. Hauing a lot of trouble getting over him and doe't know what to do. 3 thqhhsnyde РІ rlgbt
WETBABY2000 23yo Tampa, Florida, United States